My dream symbols (the white horse)
Dreams are funny little things. The fact we spend half of our lives asleep, on all sorts of bizarre, discombobulated adventures has always baffled me. My dreams in particular have always been particularly vivid, and quite often lucid.
Sometimes they’re mundane, I’ll dream about dragging myself around a supermarket, gazing up at the food on the shelves. Or I’ll dream about being back at university trying to complete my dissertation once again. Quite frequently I’ll have an epic chase dream, where I’m running away from a bad guy… you know the ones I mean.
I suppose dreams are a huge big mesh of your subconscious, and we process this incomprehensible pile of data when our eyes are closed at night. My personal belief is that we leave our bodies at night, maybe the dream is our minds way of piecing together the things we processed whilst away. I couldn’t really say, though. Nobody knows too much about them.
Every now and again, however, I’ll have a dream that feels like it really means something to me. A symbol that pops up, evoking a very strong feeling or sense of knowing. It’s as if I am unlocking a part of my subconscious that wants to give me a little nugget of wisdom to get me through.
The appearance of the white horse
This week’s odd little saga felt quite illuminating. It all started a week ago when I had a rather disturbing dream about a white horse.
This white horse followed me home from a tiny corner shop down my road, and it started to nip at me a little. Even though it’s nips were gentle, I suddenly rose into full belt panic mode, seeing the horse as a threat.
The rest of the dream was spent trying to run away in fear of this magnificent and yet seemingly evil creature. I concluded that this horse wanted to kill me, so I had to kill it first.
I killed the white horse
So, I did it. I killed the white horse. Yes, very dramatic, and I’ll spare you the gory details, (including me having to gauge out its eyes) but I woke up from that dream in sweats and a lump in my throat. I wasn’t sure why this dream had spilled into the night and taken me on such a horrifying, bumpy journey.
I don’t know why I killed the white horse, but all I can say is so far as dream symbols go, this one was by far the most disturbing. Curiously, what unfurled over the next few weeks turned out to be a journey of enlightenment and a deeper understanding of myself.
I was resisting the emotions of my real life
I later realised that I was holding on to a lot of emotion and resistance that needed to be accepted and released in my daily life. I was stressed, I was holding on, I was feeling instinctively distrustful and onguard, and just not letting myself flow with life. As it were. I was fighting against the tides.
I won’t try and deduct the meaning of this dream or claim that it has any sort of mystical truth or revelation to it, but when I went into the following week, I realised that I did indeed have my guard up. I was seeing everything around me as a potential threat.
Around a week later, after letting this awareness sink in, I had a good old cry and released a lot of my fears and self-doubts, letting that slight panic-mode settle down.
The resurrection of the white horse
When I went to sleep this time, I found myself wandering round a strange little green forest. I was quite alone. All of a sudden another white horse, potentially the same white horse (dream symbol) began to run right towards me. Not again, I thought as I immediately remembered my last encounter. Once more I felt the threat, struggle and panic begin to overwhelm me. In this moment I became aware that I was dreaming.
I chose to act differently, and see if it made a difference. I slowed down, and I thought to myself… I’m not going to resist what is happening. I’m going to trust.
The next thing I knew, the white horse stopped in front of me, and stood there for a few moments, gazing back at me. I immediately felt this sense of trust and connection wash over me, and it almost felt like the horse was telling me that it was here to help me. That I didn’t need to be scared, I just needed to trust it.
We then peacefully walked off down the forest together. It felt like I had made quite the completion from running and killing; to trust and friendship. Even if the ending was a little cheesy… (I’ll thank my writers mind for that one).
Why you should relax and soften your trust
I’m not saying anyone should stop dead in their tracks in a real life possibility of a wild-horse attack. I’m sure if that ever does happens, in some rare coincidence, you’ll act on your instinct and probably won’t have time to remember this blog.
What I am saying, though, is it is always a helpful reminder to soften your trust in your daily life. To take a step back when things get a little stressful and overwhelming. To ask yourself if anything around you is really a threat to your well-being, or if your thoughts, barriers and defence mechanisms are just winding their way in and muddying your view.
I suppose what I am also asking of you, is an invitation to let yourself release. Have a cry if you want to. Don’t be afraid of facing up to the fact you feel overwhelmed by life. Don’t run away from it just because you feel like you ought to have it all together.
Just let your emotions be, even if they feel like a mess. You may just find that all the people, places and situations that feel scary, might actually end up being your biggest love and support.