Last year in late August, I had taken a trip up to the North of Sweden, just on the border of the arctic circle. It was deep in the woodland tundra at a Rainbow Gathering, several miles from a dainty little town called Jokkmokk.
I desperately asked for a miracle, and a powerful healing experience manifested; ending in the Aurora Borealis (The Northern Lights) in the shape of an angel.
To me, this experience showed me that you can receive Miracles if you ask for them, and know that you are worthy of them.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7
The Journey to the Arctic Circle
I travelled with my partner from London to Sweden by bus. We rode through Amsterdam, Germany and Denmark. After a few days we finally arrived at the gathering. Hundreds of people were camped up in a forest that arced its way up from a huge crystal lake at the bottom. The curvature of the land made it nearly impossible to put our tent up, but we eventually found a little bit of flat (ish) land near the main food circle as it was getting dark.
It was a beautiful, healing land where the Rainbow family sang songs, had food circles, meditated and shared their spiritual knowledge. I had been the previous year in Poland, however this year I was arriving with a very different energy. A lot of emotional pain and fear surrounded my heart, and I knew this journey was necessary for me to begin the process of opening my heart again.
I felt very at home in the Rainbow camp, but I also felt removed from the joy and connection that I experienced the year before. Perhaps the energy of the entire gathering was different, and that seemed to make sense to me as this gathering was very small. There were thousands less people than the last year due to the distant location. The clear Northern air gave me the chills and it felt like it was a forest of deep healing for the darker corners of the body and mind.
The forests were over 8000 years old, belonging to the indigenous Sami people as their sacred land. This sacred land was being threatened with destruction for industrial works. The Rainbow Family were engaged with peaceful protests to help the Sami people keep their land.
I was only there for a week, and wanted to be present with the spirit of the land, even if I felt tired and somewhat sad. The days went on peacefully as I adjusted, and a part of me started to feel a little unsettled as I felt like something should have happened; something a little bigger.
Making space for a Miracle
I knew it was no good to expect more from my experience, as that is only a set up for disappointment, and regardless: there was so much to be grateful for in the Gathering. Endless friendliness and love from the Rainbow family, the beautiful still lake, the trees and the songs, the food and the wild blueberries. Yet, I just knew that I needed something to happen that would shift my spirit, that would make me understand why I travelled all those miles.
Then, a day came where there was an intense emotional purge. It was cold and damp, and getting through the day felt like wading through thick mud. I took part in a long Tantra workshop with my partner, and then went to the food circle. As soon as we had eaten we knew it wasn’t right to stick around, and retreated back to our tent to soak up the heavy energies of the workshop. A lot of sadness engulfed us that night, there were tears and silence, but also a lot of words, hugs, love and holding space for each other. It was very much a moment of bringing up repressed feelings for healing and release.
Ask and ye shall receive
The next morning I woke up, and I remember praying. I just said, “give me a miracle to prove you are still working with me. I don’t care if it’s a big ask, I’ve got nothing to lose. Show me anything I would deem a miracle, and I will know you are with me, and that you never left me.”
When we unzipped our tent and climbed out into the forest, the cold and damp had long gone, and the sun was beaming down on us. It was like a hot summers day, and with clarity I could hear the birds singing, the rustling of leaves, children laughing and a full sense of contentment.
We walked down to the lake, and people were swimming. One man was making a hot tub out of an abandoned bath, lighting a fire underneath it.
We made some friends, and I swam naked in the lake. On the edge of the shore, a blonde man played a hypnotizing string instrument. His melodies filled the entire stretch of the lake, touching everyone. It was one of those mornings where everything seemed to be exactly where it was meant to, and the peace was undisturbed.
The day went on like this, and I felt settled. I had completely forgotten about my request for a miracle. After the evening food circle, there was an announcement for the last song circle of the gathering to be by the firepit next to the lake. I was excited by this, as I have a deep love for mantra, and wanted to share this with my partner for the first time.
We made our way over to the fire-pit after we had eaten, and was silently present with the vibes around us. We started to sing healing medicine songs.
Some family made chai tea in a cauldron, and this was shared around. At one point, a random brother suddenly emerged out of the bushes above us and generously chucked some cacao powder over to us, and ran away again.
So we had cacao ceremony, singing to the spirit of cacao to give us whatever we needed in that moment. We sang more songs and shared more laughter as the night grew darker and darker around us.
Eventually, one of the facilitators of the evening said that she felt some people here needed healing, perhaps all of us, and that we should sing an invocation to the Goddess Kali: I felt this to be a huge co-incidence as Kali was a big character in my dissertation that I had finished two months before (and yes, this event is the main reason why this blog is called Kali Om).
We sang the Mantra “Burn it all away Kali, burn it all away, if it does not serve you then burn it all away.” This woman then guided us to say, out loud, anything we wanted to release and give to the fire. At first, a few people mumbled into the fire. We were brave enough to expose one or two of our inner pains. There was still hesitation, though. This kind of space needs a lot of trust. Yet, we sang this mantra for a long time, the guitar never stopped strumming. Slowly, this woman encouraged us to speak more; to open up our throat chakra and to let us not be afraid.
So, we spoke more. We gave a name to our burdens. As more people opened up, even more people opened up. People that had not said a word prior began to share, and soon everyone was talking and shouting over each other; fearlessly giving up our pasts to Kali and passionately releasing it into the fire. I let my broken heart have a voice. Fears and shames swam around the air, and we all held the space. It felt so safe and incredibly empowering. A sense of magic swam around the fire, and around all of us.
As this moment naturally died down, our voices quietened and we breathed in and out, letting this moment sink down into our souls. After this, we sang another song. I cannot remember what this song was, but the idea was to give to the fire everything we wanted to now let into our lives. We had let out our fears, and now we were inviting in everything we wanted to replace it with. The love we wanted to feel. Everything we wanted to manifest.
Everyone jumped into this with pleasure; there was so much joy. We spoke with both sincerity and silliness. ‘love’ ‘joy’ ‘connection’ ‘world peace’ ‘halloumi pizza! I want a halloumi pizza!’ there was a lot of laughter.
I then remember someone jokingly saying ‘I want to see the Northern lights! Let us see the `Northern lights!’ other people cheered to this. We would all love to see them, but it was Swedish Summertime, and this phenomenon would be a complete rarity at this time of year.
After this too calmed down into silence, one of the indigenous Sami people who had joined us at the gathering said he wanted to share a prayer calling in this mother tongue. We all turned to listen to him. He looked up, and with all his heart and soul he sang his prayer.
As soon as he finished, a brother poked his head out of the tarp and looked out into the sky. With a giddy excitement he screamed out ‘THE NORTHERN LIGHTS! THE NORTHERN LIGHTS!” I didn’t quite believe it at first, but everyone tumbled out from around the firepit right away, gazing up towards the sky.
It was true. Directly above us, was the Northern lights. Not only this, but it was in the shape of an angel. I could see giant wings and a glowing halo. I could barely speak. We were all stunned. Some of the Rainbow family were laughing in joy, singing out ‘it’s an answer to our prayers! It’s the Rainbow Magic!’
We all marvelled at this for a long time, as it changed shape and offered to us all of its beauty and grace. I felt an immense amount of awe and gratitude in that moment.
Eventually we sat around the fire again, and sang some silly skits like the fresh prince of bell air and the spice girls. Then we sang a few more mantras, slowly and sincerely, as the night wound down and as all our ecstasy and excitement slowed down into stillness.
It only occurred to me as I was falling asleep in my tent that I had asked for a miracle that same morning. It had been granted, and any shake of faith had been restored inside me.
It’s all part of the journey
So much had been upheaved inside me. Although I had experienced magic and healing, that doesn’t mean that my journey was at a completion. The next day brought with it heavy emotions too, and there were ups and downs throughout the rest of the trip, but with that I felt much more trust and strength than I had started with. I could move through the ebbs and flows of my healing journey consciously, instead of with doubt. There was a massive weight lifted off my shoulders. Even though I knew I had lots more inner healing work to do, I knew that I was divinely supported.
I learnt that in times of doubt, you can always lay aside your pride to talk to the universe. Ask for a miracle. Don’t hold onto it, or imagine the forms it may come in, but ask for a miracle and let go.
Miracles are always here, right now. Simply being alive is a miracle. You deserve a life full of miracles, and it is possible to see them if you are open to them. Trust that the universe has heard your prayer, and you will receive.